That's Just My Baby's Daddy (oh give me a break, maybe...)
I absolutely hated that damned song when it came out but it became some kind of poor black woman's anthem several years ago, giving airplay to the reality of single parent troubles in dealing with men who are not a part of their children's lives on one part but showing us a side of the black community that is most painful, the relationship between black men and women. Relationships that are plaqued with absenteeism, infidlity, abuse and chaos.
I knew I did not want to have a child out of wedlock. I knew I did not want to be a single parent. I did not know why I felt this way until I got married, had a child, suffered through a horrific pregnancy riddled with absenteeism of the 'baby's daddy', in my face and behind my back infidelity, emotional abuse, and a level of chaos and confusion that paralelled a fricking soap opera.
I believe babies need their daddies in the home helping to raise them. Simply being there physically and materially is surface bullshit. A visit and a trip to the park or Chuck E. Cheese is surface bullshit. What happens when you drop the child back off with Mama. Baby's Daddy can go about his merry way on his own time, functioning without any responsibility for the hard work required to do the day to day management and fulfillment of loving, protecting and nurturing a child. Real simple shit like, leaving the house and going to the grocery store that could take me 10 minutes if I am alone now takes me 40 minutes becasue I have to get myself ready, get a child ready, get in the car seat, out or the car seat, so forth and so on and on and on. Is this a part of it all, of course it is, but the beauty of FAMILY is support. Why should I, woman, have to put my dreams and goals on hold just because Daddy did not want to stay in the home so now I must neglect myself, out of shear exhaustion and sacrifice, to give the child all it needs.
If daddy had his dusty ass at home being a husband and a father to a wife and his child, I can do things that I need to do to stay healthy, sexy, strong and internally beautiful.
I did not stop being a WOMAN because I got pregnant and became a MOTHER. I still have the same needs I had before my daughter was born, the kindness, support, love and protection of a man, the partnership that comes with marriage so each, husband and wife, can continue to evolve, to grow while watching a reflection of who they are come into its own.
I am angry. This shit ain't over.
In peace and pieces,
Jolivette
I absolutely hated that damned song when it came out but it became some kind of poor black woman's anthem several years ago, giving airplay to the reality of single parent troubles in dealing with men who are not a part of their children's lives on one part but showing us a side of the black community that is most painful, the relationship between black men and women. Relationships that are plaqued with absenteeism, infidlity, abuse and chaos.
I knew I did not want to have a child out of wedlock. I knew I did not want to be a single parent. I did not know why I felt this way until I got married, had a child, suffered through a horrific pregnancy riddled with absenteeism of the 'baby's daddy', in my face and behind my back infidelity, emotional abuse, and a level of chaos and confusion that paralelled a fricking soap opera.
I believe babies need their daddies in the home helping to raise them. Simply being there physically and materially is surface bullshit. A visit and a trip to the park or Chuck E. Cheese is surface bullshit. What happens when you drop the child back off with Mama. Baby's Daddy can go about his merry way on his own time, functioning without any responsibility for the hard work required to do the day to day management and fulfillment of loving, protecting and nurturing a child. Real simple shit like, leaving the house and going to the grocery store that could take me 10 minutes if I am alone now takes me 40 minutes becasue I have to get myself ready, get a child ready, get in the car seat, out or the car seat, so forth and so on and on and on. Is this a part of it all, of course it is, but the beauty of FAMILY is support. Why should I, woman, have to put my dreams and goals on hold just because Daddy did not want to stay in the home so now I must neglect myself, out of shear exhaustion and sacrifice, to give the child all it needs.
If daddy had his dusty ass at home being a husband and a father to a wife and his child, I can do things that I need to do to stay healthy, sexy, strong and internally beautiful.
I did not stop being a WOMAN because I got pregnant and became a MOTHER. I still have the same needs I had before my daughter was born, the kindness, support, love and protection of a man, the partnership that comes with marriage so each, husband and wife, can continue to evolve, to grow while watching a reflection of who they are come into its own.
I am angry. This shit ain't over.
In peace and pieces,
Jolivette
Labels: Babies Need Daddies
posted by Nadja's Mama at 1:36 PM
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